I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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