Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize