She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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