Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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