Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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