I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
