sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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