i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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