Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
