i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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