that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
