Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
