so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
