She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
