I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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