She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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