So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
