Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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