im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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