you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
