JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
