Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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