I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
