hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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