are you still at the devil's house?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
