I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
