You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
