I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
