I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize