hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just invented taco cereal.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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