Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
