just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
two words...techno handjob
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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