So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
