addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
