i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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