It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
