I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
