Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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