so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I have already put on my inside pants.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
