Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I supernannyed him into submission
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
