you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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