Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
