Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
