I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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