I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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