..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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