She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
