this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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