Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
