Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
