Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
