Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
