I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
