sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize