So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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