And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
