I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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