im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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