I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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