i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she told me i tasted like america
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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