2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
