wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize