We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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