I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
