had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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